The Best Way To Handle Feeling Jealous
We’ve all been there. You think things are going really well, you’re happy with your life and what you have. All of a sudden you get news from a friend that they got the dream job they wanted with the pay raise to match. Or you hear your cousin is getting married and she’s not much older or can even be younger than you. Maybe you see the neighbour across the street has a new car and now the car you drive around in that was once good enough is no longer good enough. These feelings are natural and to be honest they are there for a reason. The feelings of jealousy is actually like a “gut instinct” or intuition that your body is telling you that something a miss here. The problem is not all jealous feelings are as transparent as they might seem, and the detective work can start here where you’ll need to decipher what each jealous feeling means to you and how to best use and channel that energy for good. Below are some great ways that I’ve recommended for my client’s to help them deal with situations such as these.
Stop and Feel – So the first thing to do is recognize that you are feeling jealous. We all know what that feeling is. It’s the heat that might come over your whole body or just your cheeks. You might tense your body up in general. Your mind starts to race with thoughts of how you can do better or be better in life. You might start to feel feelings of inadequacy or failure. So the first thing to do is stop. Stop and recognize you are feeling this. Feel it fully, don’t try to push it aside, say to yourself, “this make me feel jealous and not very good.” By acknowledging what is going on you can move to release it and think yourself to a better place.
Think – Next thing you want to do is isolate the thought that is making you jealous. Why are you jealous of what the other person has. Obviously you want what they have, and you feel in some way you can’t or are never going to get whatever it is. This can make you feel angry and sad. So instead try to really think why do you want what the other person has? What feelings are you trying to attain by getting this thing you want? How do you think it will make your life better? Do you really want the actual thing or do you just want the idea of it and does that idea relate to something else going on in your life?
Plan – Next once when you’re more level-headed about things create a plan of action. Let’s say you really do want the thing that the other person has, what are some steps you can go about to get it. Can you ask the other person how they got there? Can you go online and do research about it? Can you change your attitude or work at it to get it? List 5 things you can do right now to help you start to get to what you want and see where it takes you.
Channel – Channel that jealous energy into positive action. Whenever you feel jealous of the thing you want, remind yourself of your plan and what you want to achieve or feel when you have the thing that you want. Use the energy and emotion for good to be able to help you stay on course towards your goal.
Evaluate – Always be sure to evaluate. After a month or so go back and re-evaluate the jealous feelings and the goal to get what it was that you were jealous of. Time can be funny that way and help us see things differently. Maybe you’ve learned new information about the thing you were jealous of that helped you realize you don’t want it anymore. Maybe this was the motivator to helping you get what you want. Maybe you learned something else entirely.
The biggest takeaway here is it’s not about the goal but the journey. By you getting up and trying you are changing yourself for the better. You are learning and doing better and that is all any of us can do because as it has been said, when you know better you do better. But the only way to do better is by knowing better, and to get there you just have to try, fail, rinse, and repeat.
If you’re looking for more insight and clarity on your life situation you can always book a reading with me here.